I wonder if anyone would know Harriet Tubman’s name if she had escaped and remained a free woman never returning to help her fellow slaves. She had no reason to return to dreaded south, she was not obligated to anyone after all she made the journey to freedom all by herself in the middle of the night. She knew how dangerous it was, she knew if she was caught she was as good as dead.
So I wonder what made her go back? What made her put her life in danger over and over again to help others become free. There was something on the inside of her that caused her to become unsatisfied with her own personal freedom. She was not content until her fellow slaves were free as well.
We are not totally free until we are all free.
Like Harriet Tubman I found a way out of something totally different than slavery but could be considered slavery.
As a teenager I was sexually abuse until I was old enough to make choices for myself and get out of the situation. I became entirely free and was happy enjoying life but there was this gnawing feeling on the inside of me. What about those who are still stuck? What can I do to help them? Soon my happiness turned into sadness and survivors guilty. I felt sad that other young girls were stuck in sexual exploitation and abuse. I felt sad that affected women lived with bitterness, shame, humiliation and low self worth because of what happened to them.
Then I became enraged when they speak up but no one believes them. I became enraged that there are inadequate laws to protect women and children from abuse. I became enraged that the church brushes it under the rug like it never happened. I’m enraged that society tells us to just get over it.
My heart breaks in a million pieces every time I watch or read news of sexual abuse. My heart breaks not for myself but for the multitude of women that are experiencing the trauma of sexual abuse and are unaware how to prevent it or how to recover from it. My heart breaks for our men who are trapped in the shame and regret of their actions. My heart broke because I knew the way out and most didn’t. My heart breaks because they were trapped and didn’t know it.
I became dissatisfied with my freedom. I realized I cannot totally be free until I share the trail of freedom with those who still stuck in bondage. I understand that I was not totally free until I am able to loose my fellow abused comrades from the prison of sexual abuse. I’m not totally free until I bring awareness and garner assistance to change laws and legislation that will change this inhuman behavior. As this reality sinks in I realize like Harriet Tubman I must take that lonely trip back along the formidable Bayou and face the very things I was delivered and set free from. I must face fear barking at my heals. I must face the cold harsh winds of rejection spitting in my face. I must face icy sting of humiliation and shame as I expose my wounds. I must face the accusing glare of the lying guilt that cause me to believe it was all my fault. I must face and fight off the cruel critics low self esteem and insufficiency. I must face the vicious voices that tells me to suffer in silence because I must face the ugly nasty truth of #metoo and I must do it seemingly alone.
The good news however I was never truly alone, I found a friend named Jesus and He stayed with me the entire journey. He promised that He would never leave me alone. He promised and gave me beauty for my ashes. He gives me confidence that I could never find by myself to take this trip back down south all alone.
Like Harriet Tubman I feel compelled to go back through the bushes of fears and cross rivers of tears in the middle of the night with Lord by side to set some people free so I write about it in my upcoming book Behind the Scene of #MeToo.
I intend to expose the real culprit behind sexual abuse and help both men and women understand that there is a Devil loose and we have power and authority over it. I intend to provide a pathway to access freedom for those who are trapped in the trauma of abuse. I intend to attract the attention of law makers to and advocate for laws and policies that will help to end sexual abuse. I intend to break the silence and lift my voice like trumpet so that others who not able speak will have a voice. I intend to see every sexual abuse victim recovered and set free. I intend to lead all who are will to freedom in Jesus Christ.